squidwardofficial:

waking up your friend the morning after a sleepover like

image

sniffingrainbowdust:

Do you ever start rubbing your eyes and then it feels really good and you can’t stop so it’s like eye masturbation

swamped:

Do u ever look at someone and you’re like how

frejskamavor:

on a scale of fake pockets to nachos how good is your idea

dutchster:

russianmetero:

i am typing with russian accent

how the hell did you force me to read that with a russian accent

baracknobama:

if i’m ever late for anything its probably because i have been delayed by signature seeking fans

svveden:

svveden:

what do you call a sphere full of idiots

earth

cornfuse:

you’re as unsatisfying as cold french fries

mishakoalins:

A default ring tone is heard. 100 moms look at their purses.